05 May 2011

cleanse week

let's just say it hasn't been the best week... 

It started off with the royal wedding and then my cousin's wedding shower - not that I wasn't happy for them because truly I am and wish them the very best but it's not so easy not to think back to my own wedding and wonder what went wrong. 

This week is the city wide cleanse so it's been a week without coffee.... ok it's only been 4.5 days and although I did cut back the last few weeks knowing that the cleanse was coming i still started off with a major headache and I'm not sleeping right.  The cleanse is pretty much a vegan meal plan so no dairy, no meat, no eggs, no sugar, no coffee, nothing white (potato, rice or otherwise), and no gluten which is every day for me so that was easy.   Since I eat pretty healthy it's not too much of a change but I miss cheese and I miss coffee - green tea tastes like grass.  

The weather has been overcast and back to cool temps although today is bright sunny and perfect so I'm trying to channel some positive energy. 

My right calf has been hurting - alot - since last week so I am starting to worry about the impending 13.1 miles in my future.  I'm thinking compression socks for the run may be in order and if the weather forecast is right (cold and rainy) I'm sure I'll be happy to have them on.  

I'm trying not to worry about my time for the run and just go out there and have fun but for some reason I feel like I need to prove something to myself.  It's the first major thing I've done since being on my own and I think it's just hitting home. 

And my stuff...I know I've mentioned before about wanting my stuff and wanting to get settled.  Well it's now packed in a shipping container and soon will be on the sea back to me here in North America.  Which means it is for sure, 100% over - there was always this back of my head little hope that as long as my stuff was still there, there was this slight glimmer of hope that we would find a way to work this out.  That hope is now gone.  And as much as I know in my head that this is the right thing and this is the path of my life, it does kinda suck.  

Overall I still think I'm doing good and trusting that I'm following God's plan for me.  I know that in the end I am a strong, wonderful, intelligent woman that will be beyond 100% ok.  I'm bound to have bad days and a few sleepless nights and go through a few boxes of kleenex here and there.  However this week has had a few of those days and it sucks even more to not have coffee or chocolate to turn to.

That said, the sun is shining so I am heading out and going to get one last run in before a few rest days and then the 1/2 marathon.  Shoulders back, chin up and smile on.... here's to a good day! 

1 comment:

  1. Oh Linds. Trust me when I say it's hard for me to see your stuff gone... (even if I didn't physically see it go) It hits home for me too that the final string of hope is cut... and you will not be my "naapori"!!! *tear* I love you so much sis, and I wish you a great run on Sunday... And hey... You don't need to prove anything... we love you for you. xoxoxo. kaisa