01 May 2011

tapering..

I'm not necessarily a fan of tapering before a race.  I think it's because I don't usually feel 100% prepared so I want to keep training as much as possible.  I wanted to get in a 12 mile run before this race but I didn't and although I ran over 11 strong (twice), and I know I can do 13.1 because I've done it before, for some reason this is nagging at me. This is it - all the training I've put in and now it's time to scale back and get ready to run! 


I started out training because it helped me organize these newly single thoughts, because it was something I was doing just for me and because I needed something to focus on.  Then my friend Kelly signed up for a 1/2 marathon and asked me to do it with her, which I happily agreed to because I'm always better when I have a race in sight!  Then life got overwhelming and I didn't have it in me to run for a week or so and I tried to take a step back and appreciate the good things in my life and realized things can always be worse.  


My thoughts went to a special little girl in my life - her dad was one of my best childhood friends and I consider him a brother.  He died suddenly at 29 years of age leaving her behind just shy of two years old.  She got sick only a few months after his passing - diagnosed with Leukemia.  She has been a little fighter these past two years and now is hopefully seeing the end of her treatment this June.  I realized that yes, my life was in a bit of turmoil but it wasn't anything life threatening.  I may have a broken heart but it will mend and I will survive but here was this beautiful little girl teetering on the edge.  


And she was my inspiration to get out and run - especially on those spring days of April showers where the last thing I really wanted to do was lace up and get soaking wet putting in the miles.  She kept me moving.  In a way to honour her fight, I wanted to raise funds for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada in hopes to find a cure for this horrible disease.  I set an initial goal of $500 and have now more than doubled that.  I am humbled by the support of my friends and family and I hope to do you proud next weekend.  


I realize that as much as I want to achieve my time goals it is really just the feat of getting out there that I should be happy with.  Deep down I'm competitive so it's hard to let go of goals but then I stumbled upon this post in one of the blogs I follow with this quote: “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.”  and this perspective: "Kids are resilient. They're stronger than we think. They take their treatments, and they often don't say a word. They don't complain. They don't let it phase them.But they shouldn't have to be strong. They shouldn't have to be mature. They should be... kids."


I am certain that I will finish and I know Em won't care what my time is just that I did this in her honour, to salute her strength and her battle and hopefully the funds I raised will help another little one fight and kick cancer's ass.  


So I will just run and do my best and be happy even if I'm running in the rain - which will probably come in handy because I'm about 110% positive that I will cry my eyes out when I cross the finish line! 

2 comments:

  1. I know you'll do great Linds, for little Em and for you! It's not about the minutes you spend running, it's about getting to the goal, and feeling that "I did it". Good luck dear friend, I'll be cheering you on from this side of the pond. And it's totally legal to cry. That's a true sign of strength!!! xoxo ps: conveniently ignore any timetelling device on your big day! Good luck!

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  2. thanks for your cheering on - i miss y'all so much! xo

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