My Charlotte's name is Jessica. I love her with every bit of my heart for the way that she loves me with this same fierceness. This tiny, little pixie of a woman is stronger than anyone double her size. She has been my heart since we first met in Grade 8 - I believe I was wearing red jeans (the Carrie side of me!). It was at a church dance and I'm pretty sure I was the loudest & most obnoxious one there. Not much has really changed in that sense. When T & I separated and I confided in her what was happening before I had the guts to tell anyone else, she cried along with me and told me I'd be ok. And I'm pretty confident that she cried for a bit after and worried for me non-stop. A few months ago, she phoned me to tell me how proud she was of me - of my strength, my tenacity and my positive outlook. She told me that no matter what the issues were that this was for the best - that she could see all the good things in me shining and that I looked beautiful & healthy and that I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Then, a few weeks ago I got the fiestiest email from her, all fired up over the whole situation and she had found my divorce theme song!! The email contained not only the video & a link to the full lyrics, but a whole lotta love, (including a few f-bombs) and I quote her, "all fired up!!" about good things ahead.
I'm pretty sure that as Charlotte thought of the perfect opening line to say to Big (I curse the day you were born!), Jess has her own choice words that she has dreamt in her head to say to T one day. There really are a million and one things I could tell you about her - she is an amazing mother, a great teacher, the more beautiful half of a great couple (sorry John!), and most importantly, she's just overall full of wonderful. She's my Charlotte - standing up for me while at the same time holding me up, giving me the strength to keep standing, head held high and facing forward. She's small but mightly and she'd kick your ass to defend me and everyone else that she loves. She & the kids call me and leave messages on my phone (that I continually save and play over and over when I need a pick me up). She says "I love you" before we hang up the phone which warms my heart everytime. She's the one crying & singing at the top of her lungs to Beyonce while driving because that's how much she loves me.
So tonight, as I head to bed, I fall asleep thankful. Thankful for my Charlotte. I love you Jess xo