19 October 2011

till it feels right

A friend of mine was over the night before last and since it was cold and gloomy out (and since I refuse to put the heat on in my house before November!) I decided to cook to warm the place up.  I made some ribs and a pot of soup for lunches for the week.  It's kinda funny to watch me cook I'm sure because a. I drop so much on the floor and b. I don't ever follow a recipe.  I decided to make corn chowder again because I had left over light cream from my Thanksgiving ice cream creation.  K stirred the onions cooking in some of the left over bacon fat (heart healthy!) and looked at me in amazement (or perhaps amusement) as I just chopped stuff and threw it in the pot.  Mushrooms, zucchini, corn, creamed corn, light cream, can of water, salt, pepper, bacon... bring it up to a boil and Ta Da! Soup of the day! She looked at me and asked "how do you know what to put in? or how much?" My answer (thank you Nanna) "Just till it feels right".  When the soup looks full enough, or when the dough feels like the right texture or when the meat gives just a little.  That's how my Nanna taught me to cook - I always thought she was nuts because I at first I couldn't understand how I would just know or what it would be when it felt right.  But I just cooked along side her and learned.  

I think it's true with a lot of things - sometimes you just know when it feels right.  When T and I first separated, the pragmatic side of me wondered about logistics and when it would feel right to date again or to change my name back. People would ask it of me as well and I would answer back that it'll have to wait until it felt right.  I had a hard time with the word ex-husband at first but now that it will soon be a reality, I find myself finding it easier to say.  I don't have my eye on anyone in particular but there has been some flirting and yes it has felt right.  I'm not 100% sure how starting to date will feel but I do feel like it's the right time.  It's at least the right time to be open to it and I have a feeling it will make for a few interesting blog posts.... stay tuned :)

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