19 September 2013

honesty.....

Warning - venting ahead.... 

Honesty.  I don't know why I feel like writing about this today but I do.  Ok maybe I do know why...  I guess (unfortunately) I've become quite skilled at knowing when people are lying.  I've got good intuition.  I didn't listen to it when T lied to me - I trusted him and our relationship and thought I was just being silly and obviously he wouldn't lie to me. Obviously I was quite wrong! I've now learned to trust my gut.  I'm perceptive and can usually figure out people's "tells".  For instance I have one friend who overcompensates when she is lying which came up a few weeks ago when I was concerned about a mutual friend of ours.  It's sad to think that our once really strong friendship has now been tarnished by a small lie and now I second guess everything she says to me. Then there is another friend who keeps battling to tell the truth but is hiding - I think because they are afraid of repercussions or damaging our relationship and yet I wish they would know that they lying is going to hurt it more.  They may think that they are hiding what they are really doing but again it's hard to put it past me.  We all struggle with things and have our own inner demons and fears that drive us to do things that we aren't always proud of but at some point we have to be truthful to those that care for us. 

Maybe it's not the easiest thing to do and yes we all shy away from the truths that are difficult to say but why, when you are given the opportunity to come clean and be honest, do people choose otherwise? I do think that people sometimes feel confident in their lies - that they are good at hiding but realistically, in the end, the truth comes out.  I just don't understand why it's hard to be honest.  Is it because you think I can't handle the truth? Trust me - at this point in my life there isn't much that I can't handle.  Though I wear my heart on my sleeve, I think I'm stronger and more resilient than people think.  I fly by my own wings.  I can get through anything and I'll tell you what, I will be better for it.  Just don't lie to me.  You will get caught and then there is no going back to fix that.  If I give you the opportunity to tell the truth - do it.   

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