13 October 2015
I'm not 100% sure why I chose this quote to add to the blog today - it just kinda spoke to me. It was my birthday last month so perhaps that is part of it. My own small celebration of life, in conjunction with the introspective nature of fall, made these words feel appropriate. Life is uncertain - nothing more of a reminder of that than your birthday. I do feel blessed to have another year under my belt and many great things happened this year. I do sometimes spin wildly but it is in hopes to find this path I believe my life is meant to take. I try every day to be brave... it doesn't always happen but I try. That counts right?
A bestie of mine is newly single and of course questioning life in all it's glory right now. It's hard sometimes to not to get lost in the hopes of what could have been. Our hearts are clouded by the dream of how we imagined our life to be. It is no easy feat to stand brave when faced with the uncertainty of starting over again, especially after it took so long to convince your heart to love again. Sometimes it's hard to know that we can just take that breath and simply start over from wherever we may be. We don't trust ourselves again. That uncertainty is back. I find that the hardest part of dating - trusting my gut not to choose wrong again. To regret taking the chance and having to pull ourselves back up after another failure.
One of the hardest things of letting a relationship go is the ending... it feels weird to just cut something off completely. The idea of "uncoupling" sometimes make sense... as much as I do not want to admit that. I think it's why people seperate before they divorce. There is a process of coming together so conversely shouldn't there be a process of coming apart? Sometimes the challenge of letting go is the uncertainty of what the future holds. Will there be someone else out there? Is this as good as it gets? Am I letting this go thinking that there is more when really, this is good? There is always uncertainty. But just as when starting a relationship you have to jump in with both feet and an open heart, when it's time to let go we must acknowledge that ending. We have to blindly accept that this ending will be another beginning and move forward.