09 December 2015

Maybe..




Was just re-reading a post from this time last year and it's like I could have written it yesterday! I realize that although it's been a year full of growth and change, there is a part of me that still feels exactly the same.  Here I am saying goodbye again.  Realizing more and more that maybe this quote above is true. That no matter what we are just doing the best that we can.  

There are some things (and some people) that we cannot repair.  Let's be honest, some days are really shitty days. We have all suffered our own losses, faced fears and been broken.  This shittiness (yes I make up my own words) is the commonality that binds us.  Maybe having these flaws are what helps us to carry on.  Knowing that though our fight may be our own, we are joined to each other by the jaded pieces of our souls.  Everyone is fighting something or healing from something.  We all may just be getting by - carrying our baggage and wading through.  Maybe we need to celebrate just rising every day.  Just opening our eyes.  Just taking that breath and trying to put one foot in front of the other.  

Sometimes I wish I could just tell people the goodness I see in them so that when the day seems bleak to them, they can see it too.  Maybe it's the intuitive part of me that can see past all the shit into the good of someone's soul that we as individuals can't always see ourselves. It is definitely the part of me that opens up to heartache more often but even with that I don't think I'd change it. It's not about getting ourselves "perfect" in order to share out lives with someone. Perhaps it's just about sharing the experiences, sharing the disorder and the chaos.  Accepting that we will never be healed fully but that we can still love if we are jaded or sad or have been broken.  Learning to adapt rather than repair.  Taking each day as it comes and celebrate our own strength to keep fighting.  To keep living despite the challenges.  To keep loving despite the heartbreak. 

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