26 January 2016

Living in the moment

I suppose that one of the most difficult aspects of living out my New Year's word of "contentment" is remembering to be in the moment.  It's human nature to look ahead and wonder what is going to happen rather than just be present and watch things unfold.  But like the quotation says, we have to actually be aware of the moment that we are in so that we can fully experience life. On our mats the other day, Sarah provided us with the quote of "in this moment, there is more than enough time."  Which I find very true - we are always looking ahead.  There is Christmas out for sale amidst Back to School.  How do we savour each moment if we are rushing our lives away?

My intention in Yin the other  night was to be present.  Simple.  Challenging.   
It is easy to get swept up in romantic thoughts when you connect with someone. But sometimes it does take reflection to stay in the present moment and realize that though we want something to progress, we may indeed actually need to let it go.  

It's equally important to remember that though it is our intention to live in the present moment, others around us and in our life may not live the same way. Laying on my mat, replaying the events of the past few weeks I come to realize that I am getting ahead of myself and needed that moment to pull things back in.  I think of my conversation with Ness over the weekend. Where as I'm trying to live in the moment and not get swept up in what could happen or what this could be, her personality is to address all of these questions. My instinct however is to not question other than what do I feel right now? I think the hardest part of remembering to be content in the moment is to stop living in the future, to stop imagining and just allow life to unfold. Some (ok most) days it's my biggest struggle on my mat as well.  To be present in the room and focused on each pose, leaving the outside world and worries outside 

I think I'm coming to the realization that I need reciprocation in relationships.  It cannot be just me that reaches out their hand.  I need you to ask about my day and check in to say goodnight.  I want you to want to lay next to me and hold me or tell me a story when I can't fall asleep.  I want you to ask me about my nightmare because you truly care about what is worrying me.  I want you to want to hold my hand in the car and let me curl up next to you on the couch.  I want you to ask how I am doing and make me feel like I can actually tell you.  That I don't have to be afraid to cry because I fear looking weak.  I don't want the same relationships I had before.  I want a partner.  I want someone to say "Yes come with me on an adventure!" I want to be with someone where spending time with me would make them happy.   

So if I am living in the present moment, I need to focus my heart towards the one who wants to call and hear my voice.  The one who says "let's go" when I mention a vacation or a restaurant that I want to try.  Enjoy each conversation for what it is and not where it is going.  Relax and take a step back and exhale.  Let life be.  Let each moment come.  Enjoy.  Focus.  Live in the moment. xo 

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