Closing the store is the last official tie I had to my previous life - it is the store that I opened with Tim, in the hopes to have a family and live "happily ever after." It is what I came home to when I returned to Canada. The past few years have been about so much change both personally and professionally, that by closing this chapter I have allowed for the space to bring in new beginnings. In the moments where I felt as though I was stumbling and not where I thought I should be, I now feel as though I am returning to some of my original dreams.
I have been trying to answer these 25 end of the year reflection questions a friend at work gave to me and there were a few that it took me quite a bit of time to answer. The first question was "What is the best thing that you did this year?" - seemingly easy but no. What could I actually quantify as the BEST thing? I read through my journals, I opened my Gratitude Jar and I relived most of this year in order to come to that answer. And what I have decided is that the best thing I did this year was allow myself to fall in love with a great man. He may not get to be my man forever, but by loving him I learned so much about myself and about what I want my life to be. I have guarded my heart so closely over the past few years - even at the times when I thought I was letting love in. In retrospect, I can see how I let the same toxic man into my life over and over again. I realized what love is by loving JC and I have come to terms with knowing that T and I didn't share true love. That was a very big lesson to learn. So as scary as it was and even though it ended beyond my wishes, opening my heart to love this year was by far the best thing I could have done for myself. I have learned that it is my life mission to love, how wonderful and freeing a discovery that has been.