Well here we are ...Officially the Spring Equinox and the International Day of Happiness! That would seem to be a pretty good mix! I just completed 108 sun salutations with my Moksha sangha and I am still feeling the love and energy of that crew. My life has been about making space since the start of this year. Space in my home, in my mind, in my body and most of all in my heart. It's a time to open up and let things go and welcome new blossoms. I've been feeling a mixture of hurt and anger for the past week because of one word in a sentence that I'm sure probably hasn't been given much of a second thought. That said, today being a day of beginning, my intention is to release these thoughts and try my best to leave it behind me. How lucky are we to have Spring and this beautiful reminder of all the possibility that lies ahead?
Admittedly I am a pretty easy going gal - even faced with things of great pain or adversity, I usually find a way to come through with acceptance and optimism. It take a lot for me to be upset or offended, but that said, when others take my simplicity & lightness as a pass to condescend it hurts my heart. I am a smart, well-educated woman and I refuse to ever accept being spoken down to. People have differing ways of thinking but that does not make one more important than the other. There is no way that I have weathered all of these storms, picked myself up from darkness and carried through, without having the strength and self-knowledge to decide what is, in fact, best for me. I appreciate when someone is looking out for me, however I think it is the assumption behind these words which has hurt me. I primarily do think with my heart first but my head is not far behind. I've taken a lot of flack for loving people long after they have turned their back to me but that's ok. Not a lot of people love the way that I do. Once you are in my heart, you are there forever. I will hold your hand when you falter and I will hold you in my arms when you fall. Words are important to me and so when they feel hurtful, it is disappointing. For the past week, this word has been echoing in my head but standing here on the brink of this new season, I leave it behind me.
Today, as the first day of Spring, we create intentions of what new beginnings we hope for and ask for the peace and strength to release where we are venturing from. I need to accept that we don't always get the opportunity to speak the words that we'd like to. The Spring Equinox is a time to honour yourself and your journey. We spend a great deal of our lives running away from darkness, pain or sadness, when in fact we need these emotions to understand the complexity of light, happiness and gratitude. We need Winter to have Spring, the mud to have the lotus. We are all on this same journey and today is a day to honour that. All of these moments that we experience both together and on our own - good & bad, beginnings & endings, chaos & peace. With each movement that we took together tonight as a group, we fed off the energy of each other and pushed ourselves to welcome this new season as one. No matter what, i always get to carry with me each lesson that I have learned and reminders of every path that has lead to me where I stand today. On my mat, breathing strong and saluting that beautiful sun 108 times. I felt so unbelievably strong and grounded tonight. Even if often misunderstood, I am so very happy that I lead with heart and that I choose to allow it to fill with light.
The rebirth of Spring is so much more anticipated than the other seasons because we come out of this time of cold, hibernation, and endings. Today is our first day balanced equally between darkness and light. May we continue to strive for that balance in all areas of our lives and even between our heads and our hearts. May we accept that not all words get to be spoken and that sometimes we forgive without an apology. Every ending is truly a new beginning so as we let go, we also create space for the next adventure that lies ahead. Happy Spring! xo